Beautifully Broken

Beauty in the Broken.

I don’t believe we were made to make it on our own. I think our best efforts and energy, our holding-it-together and our facades of perfection are exactly what stop us from ever reaching new heights. I don’t believe we’re created that strong. When I fail, when I break and it all falls apart – that voice I hear inside, the one I talk to every morning, gets louder. Not with answers, not with solutions, not with requirements or even judgement. Because that voice is not mine.

That voice speaks an incomparable and unconditional sense of love and grace amongst the broken pieces. The pieces come back together. Not always immediately, but stronger and more perfect than I had achieved before. They assemble free of the pressure and pride that I had needed previously when I tried my own strength. Instead of regret and brokenness, I’m found feeling so grateful for the pieces I have and for the fact that it’s no longer my burden to carry.

The last few years have had their ups and downs. And it’s amazing how quickly I forget that just because it now seems that I have it all together, pride creeps in. Call it self-worth, call it positive identity or call it independence – in reality it’s just pride. And pride opens up the cracks that invite chaos. So it’s only time before things start to crumble.

I had a few things to battle this week. A new venture that sprouted out of the carnage of the last few years. It brought with it new passion and new vision. I felt so alive in it. But my worth suddenly shifted into it. You see, the venture was a blessing – perhaps a taste of the future. But I needed to be reminded it’s not my identity, nor is it (in itself) the dependance of my joy.

In a split second, the venture broke down. It hit me hard. But after a few minutes or letting it sink in I gained perspective. And while normally I would sit in a pit of despair for a few days, I realised I had grown over the last three years. Brokenness is actually the platform for new, better things when I trust in the restorer. I don’t think it’s coincidental timing that it was just before Easter, but it even more solidified the focus I needed. I was broken because I was starting to build my life around my new successful venture and not around the provider of this (and so many other) blessings.

Culture can call me crazy. The bald man walking to dog, talking to himself in the mornings. But satisfying culture is not something a broken man can afford. So let me be clear. On my hardest days; in my most broken states – I am more dependant on the One who took all my failings onto Himself. I talk it out with Jesus. When I understand. When I don’t. When I’m broken. When I’m mending. And in that exact exchange; I am made more whole than I originally was.

What Jesus achieved several thousand years ago took the broken: Past, Present and Future and turned them into beautiful. His body was broken, so ours could be put together again. One moment in time that could eternally bring healing for all humanity.

While life says that all the pieces from a broken vessel can only add up to the same as the original, I say that actually afterwards the restored vessel is something more. Beautiful and stronger than ever before because of the one who brought it back together. The architect who brought perfection out of brokenness: Jesus.

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2021 and 2022

As 21 chimes to 22 tonight, I want to remember all that I have learnt this year. Not just the 25 things I mentioned over the course of the last month, but this season entirely.

I am a firm believer in fact that everything is a part of a larger tapestry of events. And while I can’t tell if it’s because I’m two years older or because the last two years were a mess – it seems like time moved faster than in previous years. I’ll resist the temptation is to discard ’20 and ’21 with all its’ speedy chaos in favour of remembering its role in my larger tapestry.

I feel like I have learnt more from these trying years than I have in a long time. Of course, there’s so much more to learn, but while saying goodbye to the past – I like to think that the part I still carry with me are parts that will make the future that little bit easier.

Above all else and through all the lessons, I always come back to one fact. The even when I don’t understand it and even when there is no logical explantation to the season I’m in- it doesn’t mean that it’s not all part of the plan. Chaos is never entropy, but rather our lack of insight to the larger tapestry. Say what you will about my faith, albeit smaller on my part than I’d like, my Jesus always pulls through.

No matter what 2022 contains or throws, whether it’s grand or a footnote in the wheels of history – I know I trust a God who holds 2022 and holds me. Not because He has to, but because He wants to. And who am I to question or worry about anything else? That’s more than good enough for me. And in that spirit, regardless of circumstantial feelings, I look forward to the year ahead with a full and expectant heart.

Cheers, and Happy New Year everyone.

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The Lighthouse (Faith over Fear)

In the midst of a chaotic and confusing time, Easter remains a constant. This year it may not be shared with family in the same way or celebrated in church buildings like years-gone-by. But Easter itself remains, just like the truth that it pertains to. And perhaps, now more than ever, its message is as life-giving as it ever has been. And to that end, I write this. Not to belittle or ignore the efforts of those around the globe fighting on the frontlines of the pandemic or to overlook the heart and resilience of everyone doing their part by just ‘staying home’. But rather to strengthen my soul in the one fact that remains unturned or unchanged by this, or indeed any storm that clouds our skies…

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Bitter / Beautiful Cold

There’s no doubt, I think, in any of our minds that life gets more complicated as we progress through our lives. Probably with the increase of responsibilities, stresses and pressures expected of us, all coupled with the fact that the world seems to be changing at break-neck speeds and is often hard to keep up with. So, then, it is perhaps no surprise that our situations, decisions and paths-trod become equally complex.

I remember thinking through the journey I took to get me to where I am today – in light of business only – and I almost lost my thought-train several times. All the flip-flops and crazy situations made me loose count. I don’t think I’m any exception either.

Fortunately, in all my understanding of who God is, He’s not scared of complexity. Specifically just looking at Jesus’ arrival. What appeared to be the most complicated and unorthodox baby birth in our written history, God cut through the situation and somehow brought a simple solution. A birth in a barn, a baby in a manger. Probably not the birth story Mary and Joseph expected. But yet, God pulled through for them regardless.

Walking the dog in the bitter cold, and (just imagining) the snow flakes and their beautiful complexity, reminded me that the same heat melts them regardless of their intense and unique designs. In the same way, however complicated my life becomes and however weaving the road I make becomes, the same God doesn’t change. Hope came through the complexity two thousand or so years ago and made a way. That still applies today. Where I see mess and confusion, God sees a way. The only challenge is reminding myself to hand him the reins.

Looking back over the year gone by and then the festivities ahead; I’m reminding myself that there is no comma or ellipsis that hangs-by-a-thread while I stop to rest. Instead, my sentence is already written and the full-stop added by the author and finisher of who I am.

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Rup-a-pum-pum-pum, number one

There’s no hiding or excusing it, I love Christmas. And when it comes to Christmas music, I like to think of myself as a bit of a collector. As my wife found out earlier this year, ‘shuffle all’ on my iPhone is a dangerous game to play – as well over half of my music is somehow related to Christmas. Every time I hear a Christmas track online, on a TV show or just-about-anywhere-else – I’ll be sure to add it to my collection. Why? Because it matters. Come November, I want to have the most epic Christmas playlist. Which, each year, is getting hard to top. That playlist has gotta bring the festive cheer. It’s gotta leave me feeling like it’s snowing outside (even if it isn’t). And it’s gotta be 100% Christmas themed.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s some great music out there, but it grinds my gears a when the Christmas number 1 (and just about all the other top 20-50) have literally nothing to do with Christmas. No sleigh-bells, no jolly Santa, no mention of a tree and no chance of a bit of baby Jesus in a manager. We only get to listen to Christmas music one season a year, so why are we normalising it to teenage power-ballads or repetitive pop that we get all year ’round? A quick glance at the the number 1 spots since 1952 shows the very mixed top-spots over the Christmas season. I’m not blaming anyone, well, maybe someone with a name that rhymes with ‘primal towel’… So it’s great to see, over the last decade or so, Buble and co bringing out some cracking Christmas albums. This year, an unexpected release from Robbie Williams adds a massive track-list of epic Christmas songs to the runnings.

Honestly, my rant is over and my Christmas spirit is back. Because, let’s face it, music can truly set the mood. Just ask the poor Ikea Customer Services rep who had to deal with me after being on phone-hold for 45 minutes being force-fed Abba. I shudder at the memory.

So without further ado, here is the playlist that I’ve been working on all year. It’s called A Very Decent Christmas Playlist. It’s a mix of all styles, all themes and all feels in a mashup of Christmas goodness. You may not like this sort of thing, but I love it. Feel free to listen.


(Note, Spotify didn’t have all the tracks and won’t be updated through the season. So, the Apple Music one will naturally be a better version…)

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Family First

It’s that time again, no not that one. Or that one. But the end of January. Unlike our other office breaks this season is not a public holiday and is, perhaps, the least understood.

It wouldn’t be too far of a stretch for the outside eye to think I’m slightly lazy or part-timer for taking a break so close to our recent Christmas break. But, in reality, I’d like to suggest it’s quite the opposite.

You see, when it comes to business, most shut down over the Christmas break. But because our businesses are so diverse, we power-on through. So in reality, even though our offices are shut over Christmas – we aren’t really on a break at all. In fact we were often chasing orders, replying to emails and preparing for the year ahead.

So, even though it’s a challenge for most to go back to work after the Christmas, I’d perhaps argue – we are less rested than most. Our kids are savvy to this also. While we are able to give them 100% over Christmas Day and the few surrounding days, anything more than that is a bit of a luxury for us (and them). With that in mind, we have January.

The last two weeks in January are very special for our family. Not only is it my birthday, but it’s the time that we set aside especially for each other. We enjoy each others’ company. We go out to places during the days. And we make up for all the time that we are otherwise busy.

It may not be ideal timing for everyone who has to wait until we come back to work on February, but I thank-you for understanding. For me and my business, it will always be Family First.

So please don’t judge us for taking time out, we’ll be back in full-force on the 4th February to take on 2019 head-on. Thanks for understanding.

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Driving HOME For Christmas

After what feels just shy of a millennia, today is a very special day. No, not the fact that it’s Black Friday – although it is a purchase. In fact, I can safely say this is the largest item I have ever bought on a Black Friday, or (actually) ever. And yet, this is a purchase that I won’t get told off for making. Black Friday 2018 finally saw the completion date for our house. We finally closed the deal and purchased a home!

The relief is perhaps so palpable in light of the efforts and tribulations that we endured along the way. Nearly a full month after I posted the (what I hoped the be) full story, the conclusion has finally arrived. Not without its’ own mini-dramas, of course. Even today, on completion days, I still had a few curve balls that needed batting out of the park. But no more. It’s complete. No chance of undoing it now.

If you missed it, you can read the full story of the journey we’ve been on- titled ‘The Battle of Mort Gage’. Told as an epic battle between us and those trying to stop us, it poetically reflects how long and painful the journey had been for us. While the story couldn’t include every detail and battle we fought, it certainly gives you a taste. You can read it here.

Whether you read my previous post or not, I’m sure you will have gathered by now that this was a beast of a journey for us. One that so many people have to walk through in order to gain ownership of their home. It’s a sad reality of the age we’re in. And I am SO thankful to God for pulling us through – but also for the people involved who had the power and ability to help us where we needed. They know who they are. This victory, perhaps, proof that if God can do it for us – then He can do it for anyone! I had the lowest credit score, the biggest debt and I’m self-employed.

My hope from this journey is that it will show other people in the journey that they aren’t on their own. That other people that have, and are, walking through this incredibly long and -at times- painful battle can see it does end. That you do come out the other side with a victory that is monumental. My other hope is that the lessons I’ve learned through it will inspire me and my family to remember how blessed we are and perhaps that some day, we too could be the ones with the power and ability to help others complete their journey to property ownership.

Over the battle, I ended up formulating a playlist of songs that I found myself listening to regularly as they depicted the season really well. You can listen to them, if you’d, like here:

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