2025; IDST

Remember those old science desks at school? The super old tall ones that had gas taps built into them. The wood was was mouldable on the surface that to find an un-engraved seating position was practically impossible. Humorous anecdotes about Mr Liner or insulting catchphrases regarding the nerds of the class. And perhaps most commonly, romantic initials. XX 4 YY in a crudely drawn heart with an arrow through it. Don’t get me started on the logistics of Cupid shooting an arrow through a heart as a sign of love and not assassination, but who am I to destroy romantic symbolism?

It wasn’t long into secondary school where I saw an addition to these works of art. IDST. Remember that? Took me asking a friend to work out what it stood for. Yeah we didn’t Google back in my day, we had to ask around. A process that regularly made for some much less reliable results. But at least they didn’t come with adverts.

IDST: If Destroyed Still True. That was the meaning, I was told. Maybe I heard wrong but that’s certainly what IDST became for me. And reused countless times at school. But never ever ever to draw on desks. Ish.

New Year can be such a mixed bag – but while looking ahead to 2025, I feel like I had to name this year of my life and IDST made sense. Maybe not entirely in the sense it was originally intended but for me, it works even better.

With a little taste of hindsight from 2023 & 2024, I feel an illogical sense of hope for what comes next. While the 2023 & 2024 story details aren’t appropriate for a public setting yet, safe to say my world was tossed around like a ship in the darkest, most uncertain storm. The wild, strong and consistent beating of the waves on my life vessel redefined my understanding of ‘character building’.

Without getting too lost in the symbolism, the storm faced me head-on with a very real question that I believe all followers of Jesus face in their lives at some point; do I believe Jesus is really here with me – or am I on my own?

The question comes in many forms and throughout my journey it was phrased in multiple ways and feelings. But ultimately it comes down to – either Jesus is real to me, or He’s not. A lateral thinker phrased it like this:

If God is real- why doesn’t he appear and fix life’s problems when we need him the most?

This way if thinking lets fear win either way. It presumes that Jesus demands our blind following if He’s real. And in balance, presumes He should ‘fix’ whatever we need and we desire when we demand.

Neither of these are true. We all get a choice. We get a choice whether to wake up and face the day head-on or to pull the covers over our head and pretend life isn’t happening. We get a choice to choose to prefer others or to grow more self absorbed in every moment. We get to choose to be like Jesus or cave to our own natures. It’s not always black and white, and I’ll be the first to admit I fall and fail and drown and stop trying more than I’d like. But character is built in the getting back up. I can’t begin to count the amount of times I’ve reached for Jesus’s hand as he stands on the stormy waves and I slowly sink beneath them. That surface that pushed me down is that same platform he stands fearlessly on.

And what of Jesus not fixing the storm? Or showing up and changing things for the better? I’m not qualified to answer all this question but I can unashamedly tell you where I’m at with it.

I don’t believe we’re meant to know all the answers. Our storms, problems and struggles can’t be the focus. Moreover, our solutions might not be the ones He sees. To believe in Jesus is to believe that He’s still in control and to believe He’s still working on the best outcome. Human error, life and circumstances will sometimes lead us in directions we don’t want to go. But that fundamental ‘All In’ foundation that I’ve had to come to – that belief that Jesus holds us and is walking (often carrying) us back around to the best outcome.

My favourite Bible chunk currently (Daniel 3:17-18)… when three individuals who refuse to bow to circumstances and trust in God in the face of death by fire. Paraphrased by me, their reaction was essentially ‘Our God can save us. But. even if he doesn’t; I will still trust him’.

And of course, he showed up. In his timing. It wasn’t before the fire, but in the fire that he was visible. But that’s doesn’t mean he wasn’t with them every step of the way.

Just like on that verse. Just like my last two years – He’s there. If nothing else, he’s holding my hand and carrying me when I fall. The 2020’s have been a journey and my journey is far from over but if there is anything in my life right now that is IDST – it’s that Jesus is here with me. Whether it’s obvious or not. Whether I can see it in the moment or not. Whether I can see the way or not. Whether the healing comes or not. Whether the answer arrives how I expect or not. I’m still gonna trust in the one I know is holding my hand. Even if faced with my own destruction in 2025 – I just hold his hand a little tighter and whisper with whatever strength I have left: If Destroyed, Still True.