Nothing qualifies me to write this. I’m not a scientist or even a professor in theology. And make no mistake, I am certainly not perfect. My temper, social demeanour and lack of general awareness would be the first signs of that. But I want to talk about something that is dear to me. I think sometimes my outward appearances, combined with some of my actions can be the benchmark for people to judge me as a person. But regardless of what I do, who I am and how act – I want to make one thing completely crystal clear: while I don’t always understand it – I trust that my God is who he says he is.
At a point in my life where a lot is changing (for the better, but change none-the-less), I am very careful that the things most important to me STAY the things that are most important to me. And for all the stories, events and blog posts, there aren’t enough words to explain this one carefully enough. However, I will try to keep it short and (kinda) sweet.
If I’m honest with myself, inside me there was always been a battle of mind vs. spirit. I believe in something far beyond our natural reality – but through the years I’ve been alive, my mind has steadily become more and more hungry for tangible evidence that my spirit isn’t crazy. I think it’s the truth of our culture today. “Evidence! Or it didn’t happen.” Why? Because we live in a society of dis-trust and deception. My revelation today stopped me in my tracks so-to-speak. By extending the culture that I live in – to my beliefs, specifically in my God and by desperately seeking proof, I am applying him to the same culture of dis-trust and deception. And if my God is who he says he is, then those aren’t even close to his character traits. This may not be a revelation to many, but to me it started to extinguish the tension between my mind and spirit, and here’s why.
As some of my favourite scientists, artists and comedians all jest around the existence of God, that belief in such a thing is absurd – it took its toll on me. Inside me, I still believed God to be everything he said he is – but I had started to hunger for proof to compliment my inner convictions. Something to satisfy my mind that this was indeed a logical belief. But while walking the dog today, I decided. No more logic. No more striving to satisfy my mind. I’m throwing the desire for proof out of the window – permanently. My thought pattern was this:
Reality: As I see it, I don’t think we’ll ever find earthly conclusive proof that my God exists. Not in a way that will satisfy the leading scientific minds of our generation. And the reason behind this is simple. If we were to discover conclusive proof of God’s existence, evidence that Jesus of Nazareth was actually the Christ and that his resurrection really did have the implications of an eternal future for all of humanity – then there would be no need to trust him. We would be trusting our minds and our eyes, rather than trusting outside of ourselves, trusting in God himself. And it’s that trust -that God is who he says he is, who Jesus said he is- that opens the door to something else – a reality that is outside of our finite and logical world. A reality that doesn’t desire scientific proof.
I don’t know if this all makes any sense or if I’m high on adrenaline from running the dog around the block – but here’s the deal for me. No matter where I have been, what I achieve or who I become, I fully trust that I am backed up by my God. Call it whatever you want, but I believe that Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ and it’s through his resurrection that I gain complete separation from my failings, hurts and (major) imperfections. More importantly, something that goes beyond just a thesis or theorem: a current, very real, relationship with a super power. A God. The God. Beyond that of Greek mythology and the Marvel Universe. I’m not looking for the proof with my eyeballs anymore, because I simply trust that He is with me now. And when I look at it like that, it far from limits my reality – it opens up a whole new world.
Judge me all you want – I’m really not perfect – but I’m done with the mind games and social culture. This is what I believe, this is the relationship I have with my creator and no one can take it from me. It takes all the mess of me and makes it irrelevant because of how incredible he is instead. And even if you can’t join me on the same page, it’s definitely something to consider.